Friday, March 15, 2013

In a Funk.

Source: google.com via Lits on Pinterest

I've been in a bit of a funk, beginning yesterday and carrying on into today.

I have been really good throughout recent challenges in keeping my emotions (mostly) in tow; as, I've realized there's no sense wasting a moment to fleeting foolishness.

But, every once in a while, life....hits me...hard - and in this case, in the form of a voice mail message that I wasn't able to respond to as quickly as I would have liked and/or intended.

I have learned (through much effort) to keep myself grounded in my moments - I don't dream outwards too very far, and I don't think too much about the things that have passed. In the moment is my new 'comfort zone.'

And, I'm finding that those close to me are having a difficult time understanding my new 'orientation.' Some, have even challenged that I'm too weak or too fearful for honest forward thinking.

But, it's not that way, at all.

I stay in this moment, because...this is the best moment of all. It's the best moment of all - because, there are no 'what if' scenarios here... no worrying or carrying on. It's the time when I can connect to everything fully and all around me... keeping myself, most centered of all.

I like now. And I love my 'this moment's right here.

When I walk outside, I want to close my eyes and know what 'wind' really feels like. And, coming in...when I hang up my coat, I want to savor that 'outside smell' that lingers still in the woven fabric.

I'm here in this moment; because, this is the moment that I love most of all.

And yet, yesterday - I felt a bit ripped from that coziness, and comfort...shocked awake from a deep, deep sleep. Disoriented...discouraged...and looking back at my 'this moment' and almost missing it a bit.

Hence, my funk - because, I feel a bit disconnected from now.

And, I miss my friend 'this moment' quite a bit.

Also, I think chocolate should always be 'prescribed' for funkiness.